Online dating makes me depressed
I am not very active on the site, he knew that beforehand. I've barely posted on this site, nothing new he didn't already know from my OKC profile. I don't give a flying fuck that this happened, I've been faded on by strangers before. I wish I could find someone on here near me so we could go for a drink. I'm a reasonably good looking guy, slightly shy, but I haven't had a real relationship yet. While I'm not in the exact same boat as you, I'm almost 95% sure that it's just a self-esteem issue. I think it was /u/detectivenineteen who said something totally life changing for me a few months ago in a thread, something like, "It only takes one." And as corny and cliche as it sounds, that one will make you realize why it didn't work with anyone else, and it'll seem impossible that so many girls passed on such an amazing person, and that you got to him before anyone else. I learned to cope by just realizing that it's natural to feel that, and that a bunch of little failures are nothing compared to the good times I've had and the things I've learned about myself in relationships. You can have good first and second dates but don't underestimate how high of a bar basic geographical proximity and convenience can be. If you are confident and talented you'll be way more attractive to yourself and others. You need to look at this through an objective lens.
I was chatting with a new guy from OKC, at his insistence we added each other to a social networking site. I feel so silly sitting here in tears over this, yet I can't help feeling so alone. I'm a 28 year old dude and I could have written that post. I've been doing this for long enough that very few fades bother me in the sense of getting attached to the person, but they still are little tiny hits of "why didn't they want to hang out with me" even if it's someone I wasn't super interested in.While I was in a relationship, I heard people complain about the single life all of the time. I could earn my masters degree with the amount of time and energy it takes to determine whether or not my casual hookup actually has feelings for me. And I am constantly wondering why I play these stupid games.Stories from my friends, articles on the Internet, anything popular on television, it’s everywhere. Why can’t I call someone because I like talking to him? If I act angry when a guy blows me off, I’m just a crazy bitch, so my only other option is to complain to my friends and wade in anxiety until he finally texts me back. I am so tired of living in a world where apathy is more effective in getting someone’s attention than honesty.each one I go on that doesn't go well for whatever reason feels like a little knife is cutting away at my heart. But I had a date recently that really set things in perspective for me.This was a girl who I actually had met in real life many years ago, but she didn't remember me. This isn't going to be one of those forever alone, why won't anyone respond to my messages posts.
Nor is it my intention to boast because I've had a decent amount of dates off the site. I'm a 29 year old female, cute and in good shape.
As a 22-year-old single woman I’m pretty much living in the thickest part of the modern hookup culture – perfecting the art of getting the right guy to buy you a drink at a bar, crafting the perfect response to a text to make you seem just interested enough, taking the proper five seconds to adequately judge a person and determine whether or not to swipe left or right on Tinder.
That’s the world I live in now and I have to confess: I hate it with every fiber of my being.
But it wasn’t until I began to experience it for myself that I truly understood what everyone was complaining about. Nobody asks you out on a date; they just ask you to – so after you do, you can spend the next three days that you’re supposed to be ignoring them wondering exactly what it meant. And let me tell you something; I don’t want to be that girl. I’m tired of the manipulative games that men and women play with one another in an effort to maintain control in a relationship that we’re not allowed to define.
So here’s my idea: let’s all stop being little fucks. If you’re not interested in someone, please just fucking tell them. It’s time we grow up and stop leaving people hanging with unanswered texts and cryptic social media posts.
I've had a decent amount of dates the past few months, a few lead to seconds and thirds, but nothing advanced beyond that from my end or theirs for different reasons.